4 months alcohol free

Today, I am 4 months alcohol free. I’ve hit quite a few milestones over the last 120 days but this one hits me differently. This won’t be a long blog post because I’m not quite sure how to even put what I’m feeling into words. I can’t quite put my finger on the exact feeling but I do know one thing: I am feeling an overwhelming amount of gratitude.

Maybe because it’s a foreign feeling. Something I only dreamed of. A feeling that I thought only other people could feel. You see, I was filled with so much shame and self hate for SO long that I didn’t know how to be proud of myself.

Pride: {noun} a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

That’s it. Pride. This is what I’m feeling.

Making the decision to get sober at the age of 27 goes against everything I’ve been conditioned to believe. I thought only people who went to detox centers or ended up on the show Intervention got sober. I knew that alcohol would have to be out of my life in order for my mental health to improve. I chose life and I’ll choose it over and over again.

I didn’t lose a single thing by giving up alcohol besides hangovers and the paralyzing “hangxiety” and shame. I gained more than I could have ever hoped for by saying goodbye to alcohol.

It’s been about finding myself after years of constantly losing pieces of myself. It’s about the self worth and self respect that I have for myself now. It’s about actually being able to look in the mirror. It’s about healing from years of pain, shame and trauma. It’s about being uncomfortable and making the choice to sit with those feelings. It’s about putting in the work when I leave my therapists’ office. It’s about healthy coping mechanisms that include mindfulness, breathing and meditation.

It’s about being present for every single moment in my life.

It’s about coming home to myself.

I want to feel it all because it means I am alive.

It means I am human.

Sparkling waters > Alcohol

I have been alcohol free for 58 days and I don’t have any intentions of adding it back into my life anytime soon. I have not only lost 17 pounds since January but I have also deepened my love for seltzer waters!

These are some of my favorites that I wanted to share with you! These are in no particular order because I LOVE them all.

1.) Polar Seltzer’ade- my obsession with seltzers began with Polar waters over 3 years ago!

“Bubbles with the charm of your favorite lemonade, but none of the guilt!” -Polar

No juice, no sweeteners and no sugar! And the taste of these seltzers are just an added bonus. So refreshing, light and crisp. These remind me of summer all year round. There are eight flavors to choose from and I can report back that they are all AMAZING.

2.) Bubly

“No calories. No sweeteners. All smiles”. -Bubly

Bubly offers 15 flavors. I have tried: pineapple, watermelon, blackberry, strawberry, cherry, cranberry, raspberry and lime! I have found that they are flavorful and have just enough “bubbles”. The Bubly website is very user friendly and they offer cocktail and mocktail recipes!

3.) Spindrift

“America’s first sparkling water made with just real squeezed fruit. Yup, that’s it”. – Spindrift

Now this one is a little different but I LOVE it! Spindrift is made with real fruit. You can totally tell too because the flavors taste real. The colors of these drinks are beautiful and I feel like I am treating my body with care when I drink them. I also enjoy adding fresh fruit to my Spindrift drinks! Lemon, lime and raspberry lime are my favorite Spindrift flavors.

4.) AHA

“AHA’s new flavored sparkling water pairs familiar flavors in unexpected ways for a uniquely delightful, flavor-forward experience.” -AHA

Now this is a new one for me but it quickly became a favorite in our household. There are eight flavors to choose from! Blueberry and pomegranate is my FAV! I can’t wait to try more flavors because this girl is a fan of AHA!

5.) S. Pellegrino

“S.Pellegrino is the finest sparkling natural mineral water.” – S. Pellegrino

The first time I tried S. Pellegrino was in Aruba at an Italian restaurant. I couldn’t believe how hydrating and refreshing it was. The best part is that it didn’t make me feel like I was missing out on a glass of wine. I recently stocked up on S. Pellegrino for the nights that I feel like being “fancy”. They offer flavored waters that are also amazing!

I would love to hear from you and what your favorite sparkling waters are. I am always on the hunt for new seltzers to add into my alcohol free life!